Where do Kittens Come From?
by teaandcharcoalforbreakfast
Summary: Americat accidentally gets pregnant with Kittirisu's kittens because Alfred and Arthur didn't realize she was a girl. Americat just has no idea of what's going on. AU  cats have different names  senselessly cute, but with a couple of parental bonuses


**A/N: **This was written so that I could procrastinate from reading the last half of a novel I'm supposed to finish by tomorrow. Oops… Anyway, I'm planning on writing another chapter from America's perspective (and I've got a little afterward by kittirisu)

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><p>So today I walked in to see Master snuggling on the couch with his Special Friend (I'm still not sure what to call him, because Master likes to call him a lot of different things. He calls him 'baby' the most but he's <em>definitely <em>not a baby. I know what those look like). I felt kind of left out so I just jumped onto Special Friend's lap. He let out a squawk.

"Oh, _Jesus- _I think your cat's as heavy as you are." I just purred because he was petting me so it didn't really matter what he said.

"Nah," Master scratched under my chin, "He's just a big boy, yes he is."

I was getting so much attention! This was a good day. Maybe I could get a belly-rub too. I was feeling kind of sore there, so maybe they could help me out. Both humans laughed, so they were happy too. I purred again and Special Friend put his hand on my tummy, he rubbed just a little bit, but then he stopped.

I looked up at him. What was going on? I wanted rubbing! But he just stared down at me with this shocked look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Master asked.

"Fluffy _is _a boy, right?"

"I'm pretty sure he is. Why?"

"Feel this." He guided Master's hand onto my tummy, right where his was a moment ago.

He didn't rub either. Grr…

"Holy-"

Now master was looking at me the same way. What was wrong?

"I think we should call the vet," Special Friend said, "Just to make sure."

"Right." Master stood and went to the phone.

"Well, fluffy," Special Friend said to me, "I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I think you're pregnant."

I turned my head to the side. Pregnant… I'd heard that word before. When was it? Oh yeah, it was like all those ladies that I saw who had really big tummies.

…Did Special Friend just call me fat?

It didn't really mater. I jumped off his lap and walked away. They weren't being all cuddly anymore anyway. Maybe I could find Lops and he'd cuddle with me. I was in such a cuddly mood lately.

Lops was in his usual spot, lying over the heat vent in the floor of Master's and Special Friend's room. He was probably asleep, since he was on his back (I know it's weird, but it's Lops, and he's _always_ been weird). Good, that meant he wouldn't argue. I flopped down next to him and went to sleep.

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><p>I am not happy with Master. Not at all. He stopped giving me scraps today.<p>

I kept meowing at him, trying to get his attention so that he'd feed me, but no luck.

He just smiled at me sadly and said, "Sorry, buddy. But I can't just feed you people food anymore."

I jumped up on his lap and pressed my front paws against his chest.

"I said no, fluffy." He said softly, "Now be a good boy-" He sighed, "I mean, be a good _girl _and go eat _your _food."

I didn't want that; it was all dry and nasty! Still, Master wasn't going to move on this, so I jumped off of his lap to go beg Special Friend instead. He was always happy that _someone _liked his food. But he said no too, that I can't have any because I'm pregnant.

They're all out to get me, just because they think I'm fat. It's fur, darn it.

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><p>I got a new toy today! It's a huge box filled with paper that they put right in the guest bedroom where Lops and I sleep on the nights when Master and his Special Friend lock their door. I love boxes and I love paper, so it's the best thing <em>ever! <em>I wanted to go outside and catch Master and Special Friend a couple of mice to say thank you while they were at work, but they locked the cat door!

I was feeling really, really bad, but then Lops came up to me and bumped heads with me. He gave me a bath until I felt better. He loves licking my ears, maybe because his are all folded and weird. We played the rest of the morning and spent a lot of time ripping up the paper in the box.

It's good that we're friends again. I was really worried after a couple of weeks ago when we kept getting into fights. I like roughhousing and it felt good, but it hurt too. I think we're both sorry, and I'm glad we've moved past it.

I miss scraps. It's been weeks since I've had any. I want to stop being fat so that they'll give them to me again, but I just keep getting hungrier and hungrier. It wouldn't be so bad if I could at least go out and hunt, but the door is still locked.

Lops is being helpful, though. He knows I'm not getting good food, so sometimes he shares his with me.

You know what? He can have all the mice I'm supposed to be getting for Master and Special Friend because they're being mean to me and Lops is being super nice.

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><p>What is happening to me? I can barely wash myself because I'm so fat, but I'm not as hungry as I was a few days ago. Lops is helpful, but I don't like relying on him for everything. Actually, most of the time I don't want to see him at all.<p>

I'm really tired, but I'm restless at the same time. That box that Master and Special Friend gave me earlier is looking better and better every day. I'm spending a lot of time curled up in there and sleeping.

I think I might be going crazy. I keep feeling like there's something moving inside of me, almost like gas but worse.

I have this feeling that something is coming, but I don't know what. I just hope it's something that'll make me feel better.

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><p>You are not going to believe what happened today. But long story short, I understand why I have that box. I also now have six kittens. They're mostly white and fluffy and cute and they're all mine. I have no idea where they came from. Well, they came from me (duh), but I wish that I knew <em>why <em>they came from me. The good news is that they were the reason I looked so fat, so now Master and Special Friend might gives me scraps again. That'll be great, even if there wasn't a reason for them to keep me from them.

Silly humans. I wasn't pregnant, I just had kittens growing in my belly. Sheesh, you'd think that they'd have figured that out all those times they petted me.


End file.
